He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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