therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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