are you still at the devil's house?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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