she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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