it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
