i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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