OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
