how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
