Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
