Can Purell be used as lube?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
