Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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