I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
