wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
