I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.