the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
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