Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (3005) Bad night (906)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

(612): View more from Minnesota

I want my thong back.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I hate you tequila.

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(763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481

Replies (16) Good night (4968) Bad night (765)
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(765): View more from Indiana

A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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(765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9

Replies (28) Good night (2171) Bad night (3726)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"

(1-301): View more from Maryland

Soulmates.

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(301): He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?" (1-301): Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/8tiz

Replies (28) Good night (4272) Bad night (1242)
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(703): View more from Virginia

apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies

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(703): apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies http://tfl.nu/vhuy

Replies (77) Good night (1369) Bad night (6726)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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(262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk

Replies (33) Good night (3234) Bad night (1197)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

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(330): I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break http://tfl.nu/u8kr

Replies (38) Good night (9085) Bad night (1108)
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(631): View more from New York

"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

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(631): "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/grgx

Replies (14) Good night (2548) Bad night (573)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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(980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs

Replies (12) Good night (2541) Bad night (581)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.

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(908): I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though. http://tfl.nu/x1vh

Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (426)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.

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(630): Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome. http://tfl.nu/a2zp

Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (479)
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(301): View more from Maryland

"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse

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(301): "If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse http://tfl.nu/r0b8

Replies (9) Good night (700) Bad night (637)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven

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(+44): The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven http://tfl.nu/nqqz

Replies (11) Good night (826) Bad night (443)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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(601): I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago. http://tfl.nu/p44l

Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (219)
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(702): View more from Nevada

He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

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(702): He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking. http://tfl.nu/611y

Replies (4) Good night (400) Bad night (623)

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