It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat