fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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