i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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