Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Enjoy the penises
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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