whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize