Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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