I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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