I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
