Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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