If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize