ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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