Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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