Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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