I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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