he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
