A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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