I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
