dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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