Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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