Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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