did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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