my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All the doctor said was why
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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