You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
