I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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