Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i came on her dog
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
