I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
