My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
