There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
third nipple confirmed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
