I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
