hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
