Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
