yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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