Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
