Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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