It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
