At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
