it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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