i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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