I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
