Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
