dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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