I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
