Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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