FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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