the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
