they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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