Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
