there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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